I have no clue…

So….

It turns out, that I still have no clue on what I am going to do career wise.

Because…

I am not a designer. And I am not sure IF I want to be, and that is OK. I guess I was just holding on to something as I don’t want to do my current job anymore. Hell, I have not wanting to be doing quality control/assurance for YEARS! And I do mean YEARS!

I had a good session with my mentor today and we went through a lot of things.
One of them, was my need to always have input and that input was me starting off with the phrase/statement, “I know…”.  To be honest, I didn’t know know, I just remember reading about it and I just wanted to… Actually I don’t know what I wanted to do. I guess that I have major FOMO or something. I have also been told by another friend in the past that I tend to interrupt while people are talking. I know why I do that, I tend to get excited and want to share 😛

So, today we went through a few things, including design thinking. And just because you have design thinking, does not meant that you are a designer. And that is OK.

She also when through this technique with me called Affinity Mapping. Its where you group these keywords or ideas in clusters just using post-it notes (I LOVE ME SOME POST-IT NOTES). But before she did that with me, she asked me a series of questions to find some things about me.
And this is what was made:

file_000

Fox Affinity Map

She grouped the orange post-its under the yellow “headings” and then gave them to me to stick on my wall. She then gave me pink post-its to make additions.
So far, I have made one addition.

She also made the comment about, for now, I could always get my foot in the door by doing QA for IT and Software dev companies. The same skills are utilised. Just used in a different context.

So, lets see where I go from here shall we?

And so I can do a turn around on my negative sounding heading, I may have no clue, but as my friend sunshine told me, “that’s the beauty of it, you can do anything!” The world is vast and so is what can be done. And… as much as that does scare me, I do realise that I am still not OK with it, I am not OK with the unknown, but once I take the step to make that change, what ever that may be, I think that I will feel better…

 

Sign off:

Fox

Advertisements

Just Show Up

Today’s listening content

Today, I am at work and yes I know that I should be actually doing my job, but right now…

Meh…

2d400vbpjbxau

I love RDJ

I was tagged in a post on Facebook and it said, “Love this. Just show up. Be present. Forget what others want you to do. Just be you”

And then I read the tag line by the page itself….

Allow yourself to be a beginner. No one starts off being excellent.”

Have I read the article yet? … No.

But did I have a slight internal struggle? …  Yes.

You are probably asking “why?!”. The answer to that is actually quite simple. People have been saying it to me for years!

“Fox, you are too hard on yourself”

And its true, I don’t allow myself to be crap at something, I don’t allow it so much in fact, that if I am not good at something straight off the bat, I tend to get discouraged and not continue.

I guess that this post, nay this entire blog! Is an open letter to myself, to track my progress and my changes in thoughts and learnings. This is for me to be OK with me.

So here it goes; (and anyone can take this letter and apply it to them in some way)

To Fox,

I know that you have had many goals in life, that you wanted to achieve but couldn’t, for some reason or another and not all of them was because you gave up.

You tried so hard to apply, re-apply, re-apply re-apply… Time and time again, year after year for your job in Forensics. It never happened. You know now that things happen for a reason and its for the best even though there is still 5% of you that wishes that you could still do it. Don’t worry, that will soon go down to 0% and you will be happier than ever in the job you are meant to be doing. Not because of the job itself, but because what you will achieve. Good on You!

Now, talking of this job where you will achieve many great things; they wont happen straight away, you wont be good at it straight away. Like everything new, you will have to learn, you will have to fail and you will have to try again. And again and again and again… Till you finally get it… And you will. I know that you will.

It is more than OK, to be a beginner and start all over again.

I will repeat that. It is more than OK to start all over again.

It is OK to start all over again.

It is a process, a journey and its yours. So STOP comparing yourself to others. STOP comparing yourself to yourself in a different role.

Just be you and just show up. That is all you need to do. Because that is your first step, to your new beginning.

Fox, remember, I love you and appreciate you and there are many other people out there who do as well.

Thanks Fox for listening and being patient with me.

Sign off: Fox

 

Panics and Learnings

OK

So leading on from yesterday, when I was panicking about if I should be moving in to UX or not (just been told today, by design Yoda that UX doesn’t exist, it’s a buzz word. From now on I am either using just design or human centered design). I was told to go to this YouTube video and start watching it. I mean what else do you do with a YouTube video right?

It is a video of a designer named Mike Monteiro and it made me think a lot. And I mean actual useful thoughts, not the usual over thinking that I do.

Basically I realised some of these things:

  • I do not want to be part of a bulk bought group of designers. I don’t want to be considered as a sea monkey, where a huge chunk of the group of designers, are expected to fail.
  • I also want to be someone’s “Andy” (watch the video if you want to know what I mean)

Design Yoda also told me yesterday that I would have to do an internship, to start learning in the role and from someone else. Hopefully. I do know and understand that in a new career I would obviously start from the bottom, especially considering I came from a chemistry background and not a design background. But, I was really nervous and upset about it, again I started to panic about the lack of funds, perhaps the lack of respect you could get as an intern ( I don’t want to be getting coffees all day for people), the fact that I wont be able to rent my own place and more….

All of those things made me nervous. And then I realised something…

As an intern, I will have no expectations on me regarding what I produce. My expectations will be at first, how much I learn and how willing I am to learn. And how I apply what I have learned to the work.

And, I am so very willing to learn. I am actually pleased with the idea; if and only if I have a great mentor, that I will be fresh meat to mold into something amazing. I have the potential, I know that I do. I just need the guidance. Otherwise, I have actually been feeling lost. There are so many websites out there, that it has been so easy to get confused and mixed up in buzz words and to have analysis paralysis.

14608107_1180665285312703_1558693314_n

Overthinking time! Source

So, today by Design Yoda, I was given some homework. And it’s actually pretty OK to have this homework. It’s a boundary of where I should start, instead of just starting and looking at everything.

Homework:

  • Start learning the lingo
  • Bookmark all of your websites that I come across today learning about design; the good and the bad.
  • look up design and things that I know (like science, food, chemistry, video games…)

Its not a lot… but its still a hefty amount of learnings…

11jtxkrmq4bge0

First blog post

Hello peoples out there in the interwebs.

If you happened to come across my page, welcome. If not, all is good because this is just for me and if you happen to comment and share similar feelings bout experiences, all good as well.

I am not much of a writer… yet. But I do hope that when time goes on, that I will become a better writer, blogger. And story teller

So, this afternoon, after having a slight panic moment about my career path and what I would like to change it to, I asked for some advice from a person who is in the industry.
(For those who have no idea of what I am on about, I will explain better from the beginning, since I cannot find the “About Me” link so I can edit… yet)

Ok so from the beginning

Hi, I am Fox (name changed to protect certain parties)
I have completed a degree in Chemistry and I have been working in compliance for pharmaceutical and health care manufacturing. Which, is a career path I never wanted to walk, let alone run down. I have been doing this career for around 8 years now and well, I always knew that I disliked it. Heh… did I say disliked? More like hated with a passion.
At first, like most, I thought that I would stick with the job, as these were the so-called cards that I was dealt with, so I must play with them. But then I realised that I could change career. Like but of course there are those options. But alas, I did not want to go back to do another 3 years at university. So once again I felt stuck where I am.
Then I was told that, “All skills are transferable to any role in any industry”. And I knew that that, still do. Problem was, back then (I do not know the exact time frame of back then) So back then, I did not understand it or believe it.

And JUST knowing something, is very very different to believing and understanding something.

That took me a while to learn.

So, back to the story, so now, I believe that my skills are transferable and I know how they are and how they can be utilised in different industries. Problem was, I had no idea of what I wanted to do. So, Sunflower (again name has been changed) a friend who I met while I had a one year walk-about in London, said to me,

“That is the beauty of you not knowing what you want to do. You can do ANYTHING!”

This to some people, is liberating, it means that they can pick what ever they want, without any problem or issues or anything negative.
They are basically free to choose

l0hlunj5bruydlxfm

Yes Tatiana, choices indeed.
(Also, I know her “choices” is throwing shade, but I still love it)

But for someone like me, that was scary, I had way too much to choose from and  didn’t want to choose just anything. Especially since I did not and I still do not know what I have a passion for.

And what if I choose the wrong career path? Then I am stuck with that for how many years? And what if.. after what if… after what if…. And for an over thinker like me, that gets really exhausting really fast. Also, my myers briggs behavioural type tends to think ahead…. A LOT.

1fmaabepdefgk

So I reminded myself, that even if I do it for 5 years and I don’t like it, that its OK. And that I shouldn’t panic. (note: I have anxiety, and no amount of meditation can help with my overthinking or analysis paralysis)

So, one fateful day, I got to catch up with a friend of my sister, design Yoda (because she is dayum wise), who further embedded in me that my skills are transferable and that they even can be used in the industry that she works in.

design Yoda called me an information architect.

This, I very much liked the name of and the way it sounded and at the time, I had no idea of what it meant. “And now?” you ask, well I have a vague idea of what it is. And; I will discuss it further in another post.

This blog/journal/whatever, is going to be my training and transition progress tracker, it is also going to allow me to just vent about my feelings about anything compliance to UX design struggles.
In other words, this blog will be holding me accountable for my transition into a new career and everything that comes along with it.
(Talking about my feelings and such is such an extroverted feeling thing)

So basically, since there isn’t that much to talk about between then and now, I decided that I would like to change a career to UX Design (again I will talk about that in another post)

But a heads up, my posts will be a mixture of venting, referencing and a whole lot of gif-ing.

So, I bid thee adieu and ….

963k5qu6zbovo

What? You didn’t think that I wasn’t going to end it with another tati gif? 😛